Celebrating Early Music and Early Music Performance

 

 

Electric string and all of that – Or, the Rough Guide to internet broadcasting

A journal of proceedings and observations from the beginning of this year to the commencement of broadcasting.   All happenings are how I have retrospectively perceived events and have been extrapolated from my day-to-day diary of that time.

 

Christmas 2008

I have a few days’ break from the office and decide to get on with a couple of those ‘thirty-or-so’ outstanding essential tasks around the home, as our original plan of blizzard-related fun hasn’t happened.

The weather is certainly a bit disappointing. We had hoped for several inches of snow and a subsequent visit to our local Box Hill; the lowest mountain in St. Evenage, for some sledging and general stupidity. What has actually materialised is best described as akin to a piece of limp toast – That is; not bad if you are completely desperate - but in an ideal world you’d prefer something a tad crisper! Therefore, I find myself rummaging around in my garage-bound tool boxes, crates and shelves looking for that essential widget or two in the hope I could possibly make a start on the first item in that ever-growing to-do list.

Lurching purposefully around the enveloping detritus (clearing the garage is one of my many outstanding essential tasks); I stumble upon our now defunct vinyl collection and stereo system. Both it would seem are preserved in an aspic-like layer of dust, a symbol perhaps of the conjoining of two lives and two histories? I immediately forget my list.

When my wife and I ‘moved in’ together, we brought with us the usual flotsam and jetson that one associates with two previously independent souls; in other words, two sets of furniture, plates, dishes, televisions, towels/sheets/bedding, ad nauseam. But what now completely takes me aback as I begin to seriously start rummaging through our record back catalogue, is the number of duplications. Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Paul Simon, David Munrow et al – there they all are in a perfect symmetry and repetition – our very own ‘His and Hers’ homage to the previous century and beyond – twice!

Of course, without further ado, the stereo is unpacked and the inter-connecting wiring (at this time akin to an explosion in a mattress factory) slotted into any appropriate port and socket. After a few false starts, several pops, whistles and bangs, the first randomly selected shiny black platter wobbles into life, and Barry Bloody Manilow once again regales the damp St. Evenage air with his infamous and rightly much-maligned Copacabana!

 

Early 2009

A New Year dawns and Old Father Time has once again exchanged his 'Hopes' Incontinence Briefs for a nappy.

The vinyl collection – or at least part of it, has now been cunningly and surreptitiously moved back into our home; piece by beautiful piece. I’ve had several days’ reflection and contemplation on the matter, and finally decided that rather than listening to beautiful music whilst quaffing a cold beer in a cold garage, it would make far more sense to listen to beautiful music whilst quaffing a cold beer in a warm house. Therefore, the deed was done, the die cast and I exerted my moral and masculine rights – that is, the records and stereo were sneaked into the playroom when my wife wasn’t looking. Barry Bloody Manilow was of course left behind in the clandestine operation. Gleefully confining him to the boot-sale box of fate, I took great satisfaction in fantasising how we might spend the five or even ten pence his eventual sale may well produce.

Late January

The make up of the record collection within the playroom seems to have now stabilised somewhat. The rock icons and bouffant-bound bands of our past have now been returned to their quiet, dusty tombs in the garage. Neville Marriner and even The City Waites are now the order of the day; and I must say, I’m really enjoying re discovering all of it, all over again.

On a sad note, I was reading about David Munrow recently. I had absolutely no idea that the poor guy took his own life all those years ago. Had I been living in a bubble? – I really don’t know; but I’m shocked all the same.

  

On a happier note, I console myself with the thought that my Male Menopause purchase, a red MG sports jobby, hadn’t cost me a penny in repairs this month – not a single red cent! I’ve had the damn car for over two years now and every time I take it for a spin, something seems to fall off. The other day, I had been watching my son play football for a local village team; sadly I took the MG. After the game as we were pulling out of the car park, I glanced across high street and noticed a couple of very attractive women staring intently- if not open mouthed in my direction. My chest inflated. I started to comfort myself with the thought that they were no doubt admiring me and my car, and that clearly, I was still terribly attractive to the opposite sex. A few more yards down the road and as we started to enter open countryside, I saw a sad-faced old man cycling in the opposite direction. As soon as he saw us, he began it seemed to take evasive action - and trying it would appear to steer his bike into the nearest bush. We had flashed past him in seconds, so naturally I glanced in my rear view mirror to see if he was ok. Sadly, I never did discover the poor chap’s fate because the enveloping cloud of vapour and smoke billowing from the rear of my car had immediately obliterated the hole in the hedge through which he had no doubt dived through in order to make his timely escape.

We endured many other glances on our way home – several from attractive women and sad-faced old men. All were intently open mouthed; as no doubt the sight of what appeared to be a steam-driven car occupied by two distinctly embarrassed looking blokes was something they might want to tell their grandchildren about in the years to come.

I have recently developed a tremendous amount of sympathy for my brothers and sisters in far-away China.  As you well know, after the MG plant went bust a while back, the Birmingham based factory was stripped and shipped across the oceans and reconstructed in the Orient with a view to perpetuate the Marque. However, the thought of hundreds – if not thousands of abandoned steaming cars littering the paddy fields and Martial Art’s retreats within this distant land, fills me with a knowing empathy.  If you haven’t owned a British car, you perhaps don’t quite appreciate the distress these people are currently enduring. So let us all say a silent prayer for the poor Chinese executives who sanctioned the purchase of the plant – and whose donated organs are no doubt currently helping to improve the lives of citizens throughout the planet!

Would I sell my MG – No way!  However, I can well foresee the occasion sometime in the future, when the repairs and replacement work carried out to my ‘Money Pit’ will parallel that superlative sketch in Only Fools and Horses: 

Trigger claims that he's had his road sweeper's broom for 20 years. But then he adds that the broom has had 17 new heads and 14 new handles.

"How can it be the same bloody broom then?" asks Sid the café owner. Trigger produces a picture of him and his broom and asks: "what more proof do you need?"

February 14^th 

It’s Valentines Day – Say no more!  Today is the day that all husbands have the opportunity to make up for the other three hundred and sixty four days of putting feet wrong, for apparently ignoring those ‘little people’ who also happen to live in the same house - and to generally attempt to ingratiate themselves with a spouse who, clearly, is often losing the will to live with one’s perfectly normal modus operandi.

The Globe Theatre is also opening bookings for the 2009 season.  If you haven’t – then you should!  It’s still only five quid to stand in The Yard, watching the greatest plays performed by first rate Players.  It will cost you more dosh to buy a ‘Tinny’ and a pot of mixed nuts from the market stalls in the entrance area whilst waiting for the theatre doors to open .  * Note to self - take own booze and grub next time!*

Finally, I’ve just opened my email folder to discover the confirmation that my registration of the web address: EarlyMusicRadio.co.uk has been successful.  How much did I actually have to drink last night?

Early March 2009

Yes it’s true; I’m now the proud owner of a new web address, and I believe I am embarking on a goodly mission. The old adage, ‘An open tin-or- two-or- three of hooch and a loaded credit card could be injurious to your bank account’ certainly hasn’t been proven; it was all so easy. EarlyMusicRadio.co.uk is mine; all mine!!! After a couple of weeks of coming to terms with my potentially global brand, I envisage the clearly simple task of taking my records and CDs, somehow putting them onto a computer and somehow broadcasting to the world. Undoubtedly it wouldn’t be a problem.

The Next Day

Oh how the mighty have fallen! A couple of potentially ‘difficult’ issues have surfaced. One, my original idea of putting on an album from start to finish, having given a waffling critique beforehand has been dashed. After several enquiries to the PPL and PRS, it seems that the licensing laws in the UK won’t allow me to do this. In reality, I will only be allowed to play so many tracks from each album or artist in any given time – Apparently, I’m not even allowed to introduce a track – everything should be retrospective. This means that my archive of material will have to be exponentially increased and the simplicity of my playlist has been shafted - Oh bugger! Secondly, I have discovered that ‘upload’ is different from ‘download’, and that ‘upload’ is considerably slower than the other. Therefore, if I was to use my computer to stream to the world, I would be lucky to broadcast to no more than a handful of souls at the same time – Oh bugger, bugger. To compound my misery, I haven’t even got a web site. 

A thousand and one ways to skin a cat.

 

 

Thank goodness for daughters and thank goodness for daughters' boyfriends.

Vicki may well have chosen to have propinquity with a physician, phlebotomist, postman or even a plumber – but no, to my immense relief, she had the great common sense to hitch up with a jolly nice chap; who spookily was a programmer.

I have a great deal of affection for Stu – and he, a great deal of patience with his future father-in-law.  With a brain the size of a planet, he uncomplainingly explained to me, in what it seemed were words of single syllables, the mysteries of the binary universe and how it all related to my insignificant position in the grand scheme of things.  He also knocked up – in a matter of seconds, my very first web page.

 A Year Later - and I've been busy!

 

    

Well, here we are, nearly twelve months later than originally scheduled, but it’s actually happened – Early Music Radio.co.uk is broadcasting from St Evenage, England.

My original thought of giving you, dear reader, a blow-by-blow account to date, will probably bore you to tears.  Therefore, I have scribed a do’s and don’ts list (in no particular order) for all of those who wouldn’t mind giving it a go – just like me!  As I think of more bullet points, I will from time-to-time, add them to my inventory.

Don’t bother trying to populate your song list with vinyl.  It takes hours to properly re-master and edit an album into an electronic format that’s fit for broadcast.  It may be ok for an occasional prized waxing or so, but realistically, you should use CD’s; or even buy MP3’s on line  – I promise you that you will never have the urge to throw the blasted computer at the cat ever again!

Do remember to buy your broadcast licences from the PPL and PRS.  They are not cheap; but stay legal.  The prospect of several rather large gentlemen knocking on your door, politely introducing themselves, then subsequently loading your equipment into the boot of their waiting car, is probably not what you’re wishing for.

Don’t be overwhelmed with the technical aspects of all of this ‘Electric String’ malarkey.  Learn on the job bit-by-bit.  Once mastered, you should be able to carry out what was in the past, a red mist moment with your eyes almost shut.

Do try to get yourself a memorable URL (Uniform Resource Locator), in other words to you and me, a web address.  They are actually very cheap to register and keep – for instance www.EarlyMusicRadio.co.uk only cost me a couple of pounds or so.

Don’t buy lots of expensive new equipment and software straight away.  Think first about what your goals are and how you might get there – spending as little as possible on the way.  For instance, ebay is a good starting point and you will also be amazed what folks sell at boot and jumble sales!

Do get yourself a reliable web host (a company with a large computer where your web site resides and people can view it on their computers at home or the office etc) and a streaming provider (a company that sends out a broadcast on your behalf to the world over the internet).  I did look into having super-duper fibre optic connection to my home here in St Evenage and a Cray super computer (or at the time it seemed that’s what it was), but I have children to feed and cloth.  Believe me, there are some great providers out there, charging very competitive rates – shop around!  Incidentally, my web host company is in Germany and my streaming provider; in exotic Huddersfield!

Don’t forget – back up your entire computer based software and precious songs, because there are three nailed-on certainties in life – Death, taxes and data loss.  Don’t get caught out!

Do enjoy.  Remember, you are doing it for fun!

The Future

Automation!  That is, a piece of software that allows the broadcast to sound like a regular radio station.

Whilst I love the concept of back-to-back music, I believe the listener should be informed as well as entertained.  Therefore, rather than having to sit in front of a microphone 24/7, announcements, introductions, station signature tunes etc can all be pre-recorded by me and then subsequently ‘slotted’ into the play list using a pre-defined format – cunning eh!

It will also allow me flexibility for ‘special’ programmes featuring specific artists/genre/time periods to be easily scheduled into the standard play list – even more cunning eh, eh!